I am a bloody failure. It's just sad.
I aimed to get AAA and I got BBC. Okay fine, one was 6 marks away and one was 4 marks away.
But the point that I don't hit an A is just not enough for me and the C just bloody ruined it. I study for that freaking subject 4 hours a day in two fcking weeks. You think? I've given it more attention to it more than anything in the world. I kept reading forever! Memory is not an issue for me. Why the hell I ain,t getting it?
And some teachers would just want me to score 28/30 and 80/90!! How the hell I was suppose to get that? The amount of pressure is just poured on to me as two teachers find it easy to aim me as a potential A student. =____=|||
They did this in my UPSR, PMR and SPM! Why me? It's freaking pressuring! I just want to be left alone because if I didn't get an A, at least I don't dissatisfy others and to make myself understand the situation will be so much easier.
My expectation is when I believe I can achieve it, things will usually go my way because I gave everything just to achieve that.
I'm a perfectionist. I'm fussy. I'm demanding.
I couldn't help today but my confidence level that was up high just went broken and shattered.
So, I've thought finding someone to talk to was going to help me.
Unfortunately, there is no-one there available for me.
I guess I couldn't expect much from people.
My pride and ego just went down like that.
I need a hug. I need my friends. I need them right this moment!
Life is failure to me now. What's A Levels? I kept asking myself. I always believe I can tackle anything in life. Probably I guessed I was wrong.
My diet? It all ain't changing a thing in 2 weeks and I pretty much hungry everyday. =( I guess I should start starving to death before I start seeing results. It used to be so easy, as not eating a day would help me lose 2 pounds. Now, it's like an unmovable truck. =.=
